Self defense begins with knowledge

A thread on Facebook has inspired this and I will post it on at least three of my blogs, so don’t be surprised to see it repeat itself. I am a woman and will speak mostly of women in this, but, guys, this is for you too! Please, everyone, share this, comment, expand on it, add to it, offer different views – the more we know, the less we fear. Another related thread also went as follows:

Axxx Xxxxx Being prepared is the antidote for fear.

35 minutes ago •

You and 2 others like this.
Rxxxx Dxxxx (me) indeed, fear is usually caused by ignorance of what is feared… if you are educated in whatever that is, then you don’t fear, doesn’t mean one will not be afraid, but fear will no longer be part of that equation. ♥

For my Firefly/Serenity blogs, I’ll intro simply… Most of the crew of Serenity can handle themselves. Self defense is vitally important to their survival. It’s vital to yours as well, so let’s start today!

Both women and men can become prey to any criminal. I want to discuss ways and ideas of dealing with it.


You must constantly be aware of your surroundings. As hard as it might be, do NOT walk around with you cell phone to your ear, or even using a bluetooth device. When you are talking, your attention is diverted. It may not be completely diverted, but even the smallest lapse in your focus and attention can be what a potential assailant uses to get to you. However, if you are alert, watching your surrounds and LOOKING PEOPLE IN THE EYE then you will not pose as an easy target for anyone. The vast majority of thugs are not interested in confrontation – they want easy prey. So don’t be easy prey because you are distracted.

Here is a fantastic story shared on the aforementioned Facebook posting on how awareness saved Kim’s life:

Here is one example of what I saw, I am always alert. It was very late at night so I had parked over in a lighted area at Walmart. I was done and came out, glanced around and spotted a pickup more out, and a guy standing and talking in the driver’s window to the driver. I keep my car key in my pocket and always have it in my hand before I step out the doors. As I walk, out the guy leaning against the truck heads off in the direction I am going, perfect line so he will get to my car just after I do. I sped up just a little. I see another buggy against my car. I used my anger at that; no one near me, and a buggy against my car. I stopped my buggy behind my car and watch the guy still headed my way. I put my hands on my hips and step so I am beside the buggy, I look at the design and decide where I think the sweet spot will be. I kick up and out to just below and behind where the kid would normally sit. The buggy flipped over almost 2 and a half times before falling back and landing on it side. It went a good 15 foot from where it started. Then I looked straight at the guy headed my way with my whole body, I wanted him to know, I see you and you are next! I turned my back to him as he was a good 30 foot away and walked behind my car opened the hatch (I was facing his way again) and started loading it and keeping an eye on him, the tire iron in reach every second. I saw him change his direction and headed out of the parking lot and when he got to the outter loop the guy in the pickup stopped and picked him up. They left. It did not hit me until later that I saw no security that night. I put on a big enough show that I was not an easy target, that I knew he was there, and then they left me alone. When loading my stuff in the trunk I put my purse in the trunk, remember key in my pocket or in my hand so I dont lock myself out. I have a couple sprays for door locks… Cap off standing in a tote so I can grab and use now, I have my tire iron right there… I am always aware. When all is loaded I can pickup my purse and take it up front with me. But I dont need the distraction of it being on my arm or worse sitting in the buggy where they can grab it to easy. My key in my hand can do some damage, even if nothing more than taking out an eye or marking there face really good.

Kim made it obvious to her would-be attacker that she was no one to mess with. By being aware, she avoided a confrontation from the start.


Okay, so what if you are caught off guard. Occasionally, I find myself on the phone when I really shouldn’t be or my kids are distracting me, it happens. Suppose someone does approach you and grab you or one of your kids or something, what then? MOST of the time, screaming “FIRE!” or just screaming will do the trick. Again, the average thug wants an easy target. But are some other methods that can be employed to help you get to the point, where you are released, even if only for brief moment, so you can run?

I was witness to a near-kidnapping. When I was a single mom, I lived in a really bad part of town in some crime ridden apartments. I never went out at night. Just too dangerous. However, one night (and my son was with his dad so I was alone) I heard a scream. I ran outside, as well as some other folks, and I saw a car speeding off; however, the potential victim was running in the opposite direction. Even with a car, when she screamed, she spooked her assailant and he, probably instinctively, let go for a brief moment, which she used as her chance to escape.

Evasion also require training so try to get to your optimum health. I myself am training in cardio and once I’m good at running again, I will train in some free running techniques. Not required but urban evasion is a big interest of mine!


Okay so you’re screaming and they are not letting go… something you can do in the awareness stage is to put your keys in between each finger and walk with your hand in a fist – kind of like the keys acting like brass knuckles. Scratch, pull hair, bite, kick… most women are not very strong with their arms and upper bodies, however, our legs are pretty damn strong (carrying kids on your hip and chasing after them is hard work after all! Hahahaha!). So DROP, become dead weight and start kicking furiously… DON’T STOP KICKING once you are on the ground. Continue screaming throughout this. The moment you get to run – DO IT!


Once an attack has ensued, having some methods of self defense will obviously raise the chance of survival. I know some women that carry mace or pepper spray, but others that don’t because they fear it either being used on them or fear that it might blow back onto them (like if it’s windy). Some women carry a small taser. Others want something more significant like knives and/or firearms. I full on support Constitutional carry of weapons – concealed, unconcealed – doesn’t matter to me. You have a right, given to you at birth, to defend yourself. No man or paper can take it away from you. Period. However, you must realize that with that right comes responsibility. If you do carry a weapon, you must be WELL AND PROPERLY TRAINED! Please, please, please! I beg of you to follow through with this! Most Americans are woefully unarmed and if they did pick up a knife or gun, not being properly trained, then they risk not only being unable to thwart the attack, but also of hurting or killing themself or an innocent bystander.

Fighting skills are also important. When you learn them (as you can learn on your own if you cannot afford classes of any kind) practice it until it is second nature! Those fighting skills will do you no good if you have to think about each move before executing it! My favs are Krav Maga, Wu Su, and Jeet Kune Do (Bruce Lee’s fighting method – free downloads here The reason I love these is they are more about fighting than martial “arts”, which can sometimes be more about art than fighting – what I mean is that it doesn’t use the least amount of moves and motion to execute a defensive move.

I’m into preparedness but it’s something that people tend to overlook. There was a GREAT show once on SpikeTV called Surviving Disaster with Cade Courtley as it’s host. I HIGHLY recommend watching the entire series as it deals only with URBAN survival and average people. Two of the episodes are relavant to this blog so here are the links:

Mall Shooting

Home Invasion

even some things in Pandemic are very useful (like using a shopping cart to maintain perimeter, like Kim did above)

Yes, these techniques can be somewhat advanced but as I said, practice them regularly.

I hope that this blog will inspire and inform its readers and that more discussion and education ensues… please comment, add your ideas and advice and share! Thank you!!!


“Intellectual Property” and my copyright stance and policies

I reject the idea that ideas can be owned. They cannot. Intellectual property exists to protect big companies and they do not truly serve to protect the authors and artists of this world. Think I’m wrong?  Did William Shakespeare suffer any financial losses despite the lack of IP (Intellectual Property) laws? It would appear not!

First, my two cents on what I publish:

I’m anti-copyright, copyleft, copyheart, even creative commons.  Feel free to take what I’ve done and expand on it. As a matter of courtesy I would appreciate a link back to me, sourcing it properly (as anticopyright is NOT blatant plagiarism). I do the same for what I post if I’m expanding on or republishing someone else’s work. We work hard and our thoughts are most definitely unique, even if the view of the topic is the same – we have artistic views and express ourselves differently. That is the beauty of writing, singing, dancing, painting, drawing and photography. We are afforded the unique opportunity to view the world with a different shade of glasses every time we experience someone else’s hard work. Show appreciation and respect and you will receive the same.

Now that I’ve cleared up my ‘policy’ (if it is a policy), some resources for you to check out to better understand my stance.

Nina Paley was not the first exposure I had to the idea of how bogus IP laws are but she was the one that drove the last nail in the coffin, so to speak.

My very first exposure to anti-copyright was my good friend, activist and author Tarrin P. Lupo. He has published several books successfully and doesn’t only preach liberty and freedom, he lives it!


Creative Commons – CC is a comfortable jumping board (IMO) for getting away from the stifling world of copyright laws.  You can better control how your work is shared and it is legit in the eyes of the law.  I know several people that publish using one or more of the licenses offered by CC.

Having a  hard time putting this in perspective? Well, many a fan have found themselves out of luck when their favorite show or book is finished or comes to an end. I LOVE Firefly and Serenity and many Browncoats (the common name for fans of the show and movie) feel the frustration with FOX canceling the show and retaining the copyright so that no one else can pick it up. Why?!? Where is the benefit in that? FOX isn’t earning money off of it and neither are the creator, writers, actors and everyone else involved. Why not let those that are willing and able to continue it, run with it? It benefits no one! I see a ton of fan fictions, comics that continue it, and even a fan movie and screenings worldwide. But they are all profit-for-charity, which is AWESOME! I’m glad that it’s been allowed but really, if the people want to continue it, let them. They are not stealing potential profits from FOX at all!

Another example of intellectual property laws gone awry is Monsanto. If you are not familiar with them – GET FAMILIAR! They are a company that modifies plants on a genetic level to resist other products they make, namely herbicides and pesticides. The idea is to have more yield with large scale agriculture. I won’t delve into the evil that Monsanto truly is because it would divert from my main topic here; however, they are still relevant. They do not allow farmers planting their seeds to save the seeds for future crops. The farmers have to buy new seed with every planting season!  They have effectively shut down an entire industry of people that go from farm to farm, getting seeds from harvests so the farmers can replant in the future. An entire industry is wiped out! Gone! Monsanto will sue farmers that save seeds and those that do it contractually, even if the contractor didn’t know it was Monsanto crops.  Another disaster with IP and Monsanto is that farms that do NOT use their tainted seeds are having their own crops contaminated via pollination – something humans cannot control – and it spells disaster. Monsanto will accuse the farmer and have the crops tested for the genetic modifications. When it comes up the crop has been tainted, Monsanto sues and takes over that farm – and this includes crops that once were organic for not using GMO (genitically modified organisms).

For those that are authors, actors, photographers, etc, in the end, when you produce something, it’s up to you to decide how to distribute and share it. I can comfortably tell you from experience that anti-copyright does not mean you will loose money or loose credit for your hard work. So consider publishing under one of these alternatives and see how it works out for you. You may find that it frees  you up and indeed, makes you free!

Copy heart logo to use instead of the copyright logo:

Anti-copyright logos:

Logo I came up with for Tarrin's pirate novel. He now uses this for all his books.

Creative Commons logo – but visit site for license specific logos:

Creative Commons has a number of logos. Go to their site to find the one for you.

Copyleft logo – copyleft is anything but copyright, so it envelopes those listed above:

Please check out my fan blog that is driven by current events at:  Shiny… Let’s be bad guys…


A quick intro-

I’m a mom trying to survive. We are a family of five on one income though I do work from home to try and bring in a little extra. I’ve started another blog and FB page to discuss how difficult it is to get by anymore.  Please check it out and feel free to comment and contribute, ask questions, share information…